Tuesday, December 27, 2011

A Ring of Endless Light




Merry Late Christmas everybody! 

As a Christmas closer, I would like to focus on the wonderful aspects of my family and our experience together, thus far, over the holiday:

This year has been special because it is the first Christmas (day, anyway) Adrian and Jennifer and the girls have spent with us, in Summerland! This means it is also the first time we have really decorated in YEARS! It was Dad who insisted on it, although I couldn't have been easier to convince. I admit, I sort of love decorating for Christmas, at least the way my Mom taught me to do it. Mom brought in the potted Norfolk pine, planted a little pink flower of some sort in it (what a funny lady), and set it up where the wood-burning stove is supposed to go (which is in the process of getting repairs). Dad tried to move Aibileen, but she wasn't having it.


We mostly hung a few ornaments, lights, etc. on the tree, set out various adorable candle holders and trinkets, and wrapped the Hell out of some presents! (Santa may have gone a little overboard...)

Over the last few days, we've had wonderful quality time with the girls: Shelby is 7 and insists on driving the Mule all over the property (which I thoroughly enjoy, and she's really an excellent driver), and Payton is 2 (almost 3) and is working on taking her pacifier out of her mouth long enough for us to actually understand what she is saying. They are precious. A handful sometimes, but precious.

A Mule excursion with the girls

One in the mouth and 3 in the hands

Looking for jungle animals - almost as sweet as when Shelby read fairy tales to everybody

Living room dancing starts early

Checkin out the chickens

Painting bird houses for Grandma Nielle and Papi

Hanging out by the creek
Ahh, I love kids! And there are so many in my family right now, that I wish I could spend more time with: Kara and Chris' Lilah and, the newest addition, Flynn; Leah and Brent's John; Molly's Grady. If only everybody didn't live so far away, and if only I weren't so damn broke! One day, when I have money, I will visit everyone more AND have an amazing collection of antiques! Hah. Those are seriously my goals in life.

Another wonderful part of Christmas day: When my brother Isaac said the blessing for dinner. I always pick about Isaac, how much of a Scrooge and a curmudgeon he can be, but I got a glimpse of how sweet he really can be in that simple blessing. I've sort of alluded to my relationship with religion that maybe isn't so positive, except for a few aspects, one of which was my early love for Madeleine L'Engle's children's and young adult books. After the death of Ms. Cyndi, I found myself looking for some spiritual guidance, and I went straight to one of her young adult novels, A Ring of Endless Light.



I read the book when I was probably a little bit younger than the main character, Vicky, who is 16 in the book, and it's always been one of my favorites. It's a sort of heavy read for the age group, and I found myself getting much more out of it this second time around, what with its relevance at this point in my life, and just understanding more about what it means to "deal" with death. I found several quotes that I find extremely beautiful, but this one stood out when I thought of my brother, praying for our family's health and well-being on Christmas day:

"Prayer was never meant to be magic," Mother said.
"Then why bother with it?" Suzy scowled.
"Because it's an act of love." Mother said.
See, the book also deals with a lot of questioning about faith, which I've always had a need to question myself. L'Engle is a very spiritual woman, with a lot of emphasis on her Christian values, but without scathing or preaching. It's all very full of possibility and wonder, instead of steadfast and complete answers to life's questions, which I find oddly comforting. And I've always  wondered about prayer. It seems contrived to me so much of the time, especially from some of the experiences I've had throughout my own adolescence, but when the right person with the right heart and intentions voices a prayer, it truly speaks wonders. I think about how beautiful it is that people feel that they can actually have a conversation with God through prayer, and it makes me get a little closer to understanding the true purpose of religion. I personally choose more meditation in my own path, but I'm certainly voicing concerns and questions and simple statements in my head to Somebody/Something. I guess I'm just wondering "out loud" (if you can do that through typing, really), but I do truly recommend this novel for anyone who needs help  with coming to terms with/dealing with the concept and the reality of death. Also, it's about dolphins, which are some of the most amazing animals in the entire world!


Sorry, I went sort of overboard with that subject, and now I'm feeling like I need to shut her down. I'll end with a few more pictures of the holidays thus far:

As a Math and Science kid, this makes my heart go a'flutter!

Rogue chickens!

Ok, I didn't make the stockings,but I DID hand-stitch the girls' names on them..

I love a wood-pile almost as much as a love a fire on a chilly night.

Up-rooted.

A walk in the park.

A seriously country ham.

Silver hunting.

Daddy's girl on Christmas morning.

(I just love this one.)

How Fanny really feels about this whole Santa cat thing.

I hope everybody had as beautiful a Christmas holiday as me and mine!

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

"On ne voit bien qu'avec le couer. L'essential est invisible pour les yeuse." - Le Petit Prince


Translated: "It is only with the heart that one can see rightly. What is essential is invisible to the eye." - Antoine de Saint-Exupery

It's been a rough week. Rather, it was a terrible Sunday, when I got the news from several friends that a good friend of mine's mother had been killed in a car accident. Cyndi Trest was quite possibly the most sincerely kind and loving person I've ever met. Although I wouldn't claim to be one myself (my religious beliefs are somewhat complicated), she showed me what a true Christian really was. After a childhood/adolescence full of self-righteous, God-fearing, finger-waving congregations, Adam and the Trest family invited me into a Christian community that finally made sense to me: a group of kind and loving people who wanted to praise a kind and loving God and create a community that they could feel good about. There was(/is) no judgement, no hypocrisy, no hate in the Crosspointe community and certainly not in Ms. Cyndi Trest. She saw the world the way we all wish we could: as  a beautiful place full of kind and wonderful individuals, however misguided, but never wrong or bad. She had true faith, and, with that, true love, of which I consider myself blessed to have ever been a recipient.

Many things have happened since the time when I was closest with Adam and his family, but in that time, whenever I have happened to see Ms. Cyndi (or any of the Trest family) in passing, it always feels the same: kind, warm, joyful. It breaks my heart that a woman that was such a bright light in a sometimes dim world will no longer be around to give the people in her life that feeling. But I do believe that, if anyone would agree with Mr. Antoine de Saint-Exupery, it would be Ms. Cyndi. And my heart and prayers go out to Adam and his family, more than I could ever say. 

More than anything, I hope that they, and everyone else who has been affected by this tragic loss (or simply needs to be reminded of the unexpected turns that life can take), will be reminded that life isn't meant to last forever, and you never know where your road will end, so make every breath count. Ms. Cyndi did. And may that give them comfort.

And for Adam:


I messed up my rendition of this quote (left out the "bien," so it is essentially missing the "rightly"), but the thought is still there...

Life can be wonderful, but it can also be hard. May we all find solace in whatever it is that makes us feel better. That's all I got.