This is where it gets good: an ode to Erykah

I've discussed, previously, my love for Erykah Badu and the culmination of that love in cross stitch. Well, I've recently purchased her record, New Amerykah, Part Two: Return of the Ankh, on vinyl, and inside is this ridiculous introduction that I just fell in love with tonight:

It says:

Introduction: 

I am a rather plain girl. I've always been a rather plain girl. Now even today, I have the upper body of a long armed twelve year old boy and can go unnoticed or get lost in a crowd when my 'light' isn't on (I have the controls set to manuel). My face is unique. Everyone's is, I guess. My eyes are set far apart with puffy eye lids and natural under bags. My nose is missing it's bridge and resembles a rabbit's. I have a large top lip that is broad and flat from the front view. My bottom lip is smaller and pink and often chape from biting it. That may be hereditary. I think my mouth is upside down. I am awkward. Still, I am amazing. At least in a drawing I am. It's good I consider myself a spiritual being first, man or woman second, Black or White 3rd, Jew or Gentile. 4th, and pretty or ugly 5th. I'm just rooting for the Good in us all, basically. I don't know much for sure, but I think it is safe to say that I am an artist. You could say my religion was art if I had to choose just one. It's hard tho because they're all so nice. That's my tongue and cheek kind of satirical way of saying, though I live the 'laws', I am no judge.

My tale is a simple one. It starts off like all the rest... There once was a beautiful prisoner, I mean princess. She longed for a brave knight, a gentleman. One with courage and honor and decency. But in a cruel world such as this, men like these were scarce indeed. She had a lot more than most, this princess. She had hope. The ability to see things the way she dreamed them. She could invision the exact moment she would be delivered from her _____ (fill in the blank). She set out like the alchemist to go and meet her destiny but got bored, and decided to plant a garden along the way. It was an amazing garden... purple and black and white and golden. There was one particular tall pink flower that stuck out in the weeds of this garden. She noticed it there, but didn't realize how much taller and bigger than everything else it had become. It was beautiful and mysterious in it's freedom, but everything growing around it seemed to be struggling to survive. It was as if that flower was drinking up all the water; sucking up all the sun. It was allowing nothing else to grow. I even think she (the flower) was unaware of her surroundings in her attempt to merely survive. And If she could indeed think, I doubt she would wish harm on anything or anyone or even know what harm was. She probably knew even nothing of her own fate. I imagine that she, like many things in nature, was just living for her own purpose and knew nothing of severity NOR humility. The princess named her IMPATIENCE and just passed her off as another beautiful thing that grew up out of some careful, dedicated hard laborious act of her own careful planning. But in fact, it was just the opposite. IMPATIENCE had grown tall as a result of... well, simply out of neglect and poor management. She (the princess) had no control. The End. See, in this story I am the princess, the flower and the prisoner. For the sake of understanding this twisted tale, I guess I could just call her (the princess), AMERYKAH. After all I am a product of it's thinking and understanding.

Over time I have become comfortably numb; purposely dumb. I have been programmed to move on command, to long for animated fairy tales that resemble nothing familiar to my experiences. I think I've always lived in my head, more than out here in the 'real' world. It's been the lab where much of my anxiety was first created (what to think, how to think, what to believe, what to be happy about, what to be sad about, what is appropriate, what is not accepted by the group, how to speak, what is proper, how to love, how to dream and so forth). Yet and still, (one of my grand mama's terms) I am a bundle of light energy looking out of myself from the top, hovering over myself with the compassion of a good mother for a child learning a thing for the first time. This is where it gets good. I have somehow managed to stay woke even in the warm womb of complacency. I am here. This is now. I am evolving.

                 I don't know exactly what I'm trying to say but there is a story deep inside these words, to which there is a happy ending, of course. But not without happy mistakes first (I heard that somewhere). She grows. Welcome to the mind of Amerykah. (keep up)

I admit, I have enough cynicism in me to find this sort of proety (prose + poetry. if that's not real, well, it is now, to me.) more than a little cheesy from time to time. But I find that Erykah can say most anything and I believe it. Like she's straight-up and sincere in a way that most mainstream artists really aren't these days. She's a quirky little thing, and I love her!

So I share this with you all for just that purpose: to share something I find uplifting and beautiful. And, well, I would LOVE to try to embroider Erykah with an afro of a plant like the one growing out of that crazy robot brain, maybe with an extra special excerpt stitched in.. We'll see in time if this dream ever passes into reality.



Also, if you're looking for a hilarious and crafty Valentine, check out Subversive Cross Stitch's 2011 Valentine's Day Doilies!

 I'll take the top one.

Thank God we're hot chicks with super powers...

So, I'm finally getting back into the grind after my Super-vacation. Blargh.

The Bay area was fabulous! I could even see myself living in San Francisco at some point in my life, if I ever felt like hitting up a large metropolis... I mean, they DO love their dogs. And all those parks, ahh! Our week was full of sight-seeing, record shopping, wine tasting, Scotty loving and even a few Buffy episodes!

Hey, there's a good segway into my most current craftiness: 

Here's my girl Leggy's BFF gift, if I ever finish it... I even have a badass frame that it's made to fit! It's a quote from a Buffy episode. Actually, the whole quote goes like this:

"I like my evil like I like my men: Evil. You know, straight up, black hat, 'tied to the train tracks,' 'soon my electro-ray will destroy Metropolis' - bad." - Buffy

But I think the first line sums it up quite nicely, without having to stitch up a ridiculously large piece of material. I made the design on this PCStitch software that I heard about on some blog and got the free version of, to keep myself from making as many spacing mistakes with my designs. The problem with the free version is that you can't save or print your designs, so you basically just use it as a guide instead of ironing it on as an actual template.

SO, I've transferred the design to the material and started stitching it up, and I should have it finished before my visit to Dallas to see Allegra and our mutual love:

 (Watch her "Dancing On My Own" video here - I just love her style and those ganked up teeth!) 

I'll be sure to post the "After" shot when I'm done with it.

My love has never lived indoors.

Happy New Year, everyone! 

I hope your holidays were as amazing as mine were! I've been on vacation since Christmas Eve, spending a week on the beach with my wonderful family, and coming home to throw a bonfire-inclusive New Years' Day party. Needless to say, it's been a blast. And I'm not even done! I have to say, going back to work after 2 and a half weeks of vacation is going to be -- weird. Maybe even in a good, "get my shit together for the new calendar year" and "get back into my boring routine" way.

In the meantime, I'm off to Berkeley, California this Wednesday to see my lovely Scotty:

Scott drinking his Joose in a NOLA hotel room

I cannot WAIT!

In the way of crafts and such, I am nearing the finish of my scarf, with some serious troubles in the making, but it will serve as a token at least when it's finally done... Also, I haven't even started on poor Fern's sweater, although I did get the yarn the other day.

I also gave one of my best friends her birthday/Christmas/life-long-friendship present this weekend, so I can finally show you guys another of my embroidery ventures:

Cassandre's photo embroidery

I was inspired, as I continue to be, by Jenny Hart's project ideas, AND I even gave the Lazy Lotus a try around the photo border! Now all I need is to refill the ink and I'll be set for many another embroidered photograph.

Speaking of photographs, I bought myself a little photographic Christmas present this year:

The Holga Night Owl Kit! I bought the kit due to its inclusion of the Gorillapod (that's the crazy tripod you see in the photo) and the hot-shoe flash, plus it came with a cable release and 2 rolls of film! Not to mention the box contained a Swan Lab mailer for sending in film for processing, prints, and a cd. I'll be sending in my first roll tomorrow, perhaps? We'll see how things look when they come back. There may be some need for gaffers tape when it's all said and done...

Now, just for my own personal enjoyment, I'm going to show you all my adorable family, which just gained two members in 2010:

Peyton Danielle Jordan (named partially after my mother, otherwise lovingly known by the Jordan kids as "Grandma Nazi")

John Garrison Elrod (there's another namesake! can't lose the Garrison name forever...)

The family watching the dolphins playing in the Gulf

Me with 3 out of 4 of the babies

For your entertainment, here is my attempt to knit in a poorly lit living room. 

Shelby Lynn and Peyton building (and destroying) sand castles

Peyton and her Daddy

My Daddy, cool as a cucumber

Kara and Lilah Maryanne - just wait til you see that baby's booty!

Lilah's first time on the beach!

Lilah and Aunt Leah - there's a good booty shot!

Seth and Leah, brothers from another mother

Dad and Adrian fly a kite!

Leah and Shelby playing in the waves

Shelby getting Peyton warmed up

Peyton and her Mommy watching the kite debacle

Our house was the one on the far right

Seth and Lilah

Lilah and her Daddy

Fat babies seriously are the cutest thing in the world...

John and his Daddy!

Shelby's shoes fit the firework festivities

The boys play with fireworks on the beach

Peyton and Jen and Mom

Leah and Seth striking poses

Oh me oh my, how I love a family vacation! 

Stay tuned for more ramblings from my neck of the woods...

The meteorite is the source of the light, and the meteor's just what we see.

Holy Geminids!

Tonight is the closing of the Geminid meteor shower. I have an alarm set for 2 A.M., but I'm wary I'll push the snooze button one too many times. I did, however, check it out last night. Only for about a half hour, and well before 2 A.M., but I got about 5 sights of stars a-shooting! Mom, Dad, and myself set out into the 34 degree night with some amazing layers, a chair, a Droid (with one of those fancy constellation apps), a flask of Tullamore Dew, and my camera and tripod. Oh, and did I mention the pack of dogs? It was pretty cute. Here are a couple of night shots:

Daddy in his fancy coveralls getting oriented by the constellations

Very out-of-focus view

Star shots are much harder than you'd think...

The cloud cover that eventually sent me inside

Winter trees and a meteor shower. Mm..

On my second trip out, I got distracted...

Ok, so I didn't get any action shots, but I don't claim to be a professional. These guys, however, might:

"Gems from Geminid meteor shower"

Also, I found a nice, if outdated, tutorial on meteor shower photography here:

Meteor photography tips

There's nothing better than getting comfy under the infinite sky and watching stars come down. Especially with good company and a little whiskey... And, if you're really fancy and a fan of my very favorite musical artist, playing "Emily" (by Joanna Newsom) while you do it. (Here's a video I got of it live - not the greatest audio OR video, but beautiful none-the-less.)



In other, more crafty news, I began my first knitting project yesterday morning! My interest in the knitting scene was piqued by my friend Ralph, who is among the most precious of all human beings on this planet.

Ralph, knitting on an Oxford back porch on a hungover Sunday morning

He gave me a little basics lesson right on that porch, and I was hooked! He, however, is a little more advanced than I, so I had to start at the beginning...

Have you ever realized how amazing YouTube is? In addition to providing an outlet for remixed news-reel (complete with autotune) and  parrots dancing to "Whip My Hair", there are some seriously useful DIY video tutorials. Such as the one I used to get me started with my knitting:

Knitting Basics - Lesson I

And so, Krista taught me how to cast on and start knitting. Which is pretty much as far as I've gotten. Granted, I'm doing a scarf without any frills, so that's pretty much all I need to know until the very end. I'll keep you updated on how it goes. Here she is so far:

As with all of my projects, I am learning the hard way about the idiosyncrasies of the medium, which is just my way of learning. But it's going pretty well so far, and I've already decided what my next project will be: a sweater for my pup! Fern has been feeling left out, in Mom's barrage of sweatered Yorkies, so my goal is to mend the situation by the end of the year! How precious will this little bit look in a sweater:

Any votes on yarn color/texture?

You came in with the bree---eeze, on Sunday morning

Oh, Sundays... I have and will always love a Sunday in Summerland. Nowhere better to spend a Sunday; it's the God's honest truth.

So, what did I do this particular Sunday? Several things. Waking up to delicious coffee and a request from my mother, I went to help her with the sad veterinary task of putting a sweet old dog to sleep. Sounds like a bummer, but it all depends on how you look at those things. Anyway, this was followed by returning home to prepare several Bloody Maries (uncertain about the plural form here) and the bulk of a delicious Sunday lunch. After the meal, my parents and I piled into Daddy's red pick-up to take a field-trip to the chicken house. 

Built Ford tough (or something)

Now let me make it clear that this is no ordinary chicken house. Instead of poultry, it houses all of the accrued junk of years past from the Garrison household (and beyond) with hopes of putting things that have grown useless to use in one way or another. 

My goal in the chicken house this Sunday: to find wood for making frames. And my, did we. 

Motherload! Dad shows me the stack of old cedar/pine/?

Further plundering revealed other treasures:

Oh, the memories...

Old anesthesia machine?

After gathering the loot, we rode back to the house, where I convinced my father (with some difficulty) to help me figure out this whole frame-making situation. Dad, being a woodworking god (both in reality and most definitely in his own mind), was a/an *insert respectful yet wary adjective here* teacher, but, by the end of the freezing-cold endeavor, we managed to get a frame set into some semblance of the idea I had in my head.

Wood workin'

Since I'm trying to get to where I can do this on my own, Dad dumbed things down a bit in the way of power tools. He cut the starting pieces into 3.5 inch-wide strips with his hand-held power saw, but then I got to use the hand miter saw for the angles. Then we fit the pieces together as best we could, with the help of a few adjustments made by the master with the power saw. Finally, we used yet another power tool to make indentions into the angled sides, glued wedges into the indentions, and clamped the whole thing together.

Trying to show me what's up with clamps

Cutting it down to size

Tutelage from the gods

Beer was definitely necessary by the close of things...

Hopefully you will soon get to see the entire project come together, frame and all!

In the meantime, if anybody wants to get me something adorable and hand-crafted for Christmas, check this out:

Harold and Maude hand puppets

Au revoir!